I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Panties = found
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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