He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
