Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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