after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
