hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
