I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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