There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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