Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
