I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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