i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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