she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
