he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Randomize
