I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
