sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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