she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
My feet surprised me
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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