Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
i think im in europe. pls send help
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
