Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
