A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
