i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
