is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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