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hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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