the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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