I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
