forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
