i permit you to call me
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
