I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Randomize
