Non-Jews are for practice
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
