I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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