I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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