All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
