my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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