well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
