He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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