a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
did i just pee glitter
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
