There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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