well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
