I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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