I am puke
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes