he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar