Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
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FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
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Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.