dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
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there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
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Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.