I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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