his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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