I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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