I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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