What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
