What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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