he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
