You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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