bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
