Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
