Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
