i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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