i will never coherently bang her
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
