Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
