As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
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there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
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Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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