Screwed.edu
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
