Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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