She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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