They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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