i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
