Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.