i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone