Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
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this will be a night to untag.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
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I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
There's a naked man in my car right now.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!