I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
