I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
