he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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