i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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